I don't know exactly what a prayer is.
I do know how to pay attention, how to fall down
into the grass, how to kneel down in the grass,
how to be idle and blessed, how to stroll through the fields,
which is what I have been doing all day.
Tell me, what else should I have done?
Doesn't everything die at last, and too soon?
Tell me, what is it you plan to do
with your one wild and precious life?

from Mary Oliver's "The Summer Day"

Wednesday, June 27, 2012

We've not been abducted


It's been a while, hasn't it? Summer is not a great time for me to do anything other than child-wrangle for the most part, so this little blog becomes the placeholder on the bottom of the to-do list, unfortunately. 

I'll just say that we've been really busy (I just typed "busty"--ha! I wish) and use that as my excuse. We spent a week at the beach (our very best vacation yet) and Will has gone to various camps with more to come. Laura and I have been hanging out in as many places as we can find. Will is still a handful and Laura is still the sweetest child ever to grace this planet. So, that's what's going on in a very brief nutshell.

Jamison is still gainfully employed and we hardly see him but at this point, we're kind of used to it just being the three of us. I've been working on various house-related projects and avoiding doing any real cooking but it appears that I may be close to reaching my eating-takeout-for-dinner-every-night limit. So.

I'm reading this and so far I like it. I heard about it on NPR a while back (before Oprah and her crazy book club 2.0 or whatever it is) and finally took the plunge a few days ago. 

In other reading news, I read this a few days ago and I've been thinking about it ever since. Here are a few paragraphs, in case you don't want to read the whole thing:

 ". . .more often than not, bright girls believe that their abilities are innate and unchangeable, while bright boys believe that they can develop ability through effort and practice. [emphasis by the author]

How do girls and boys develop these different views?  Most likely, it has to do with the kinds of feedback we get from parents and teachers as young children.  Girls, who develop self-control earlier and are better able to follow instructions, are often praised for their "goodness."  When we do well in school, we are told that we are "so smart," "so clever, " or " such a good student."  This kind of praise implies that traits like smartness, cleverness, and goodness are qualities you either have or you don't.

Boys, on the other hand, are a handful.  Just trying to get boys to sit still and pay attention is a real challenge for any parent or teacher.  As a result, boys are given a lot more feedback that emphasizes effort (e.g., "If you would just pay attention you could learn this," "If you would just try a little harder you could get it right.")  The net result: when learning something new is truly difficult, girls take it as sign that they aren't "good" and "smart", and boys take it as a sign to pay attention and try harder."

Crap. It's so true. On the bright side, though, it does make me feel better about parenting Will. But I guess I need to change my approach with Laura a little bit. I say "good girl" so many times a day that she says it herself now when she does what I ask her to. And I would be lying if I said I didn't immediately shut down when I perceive something as challenging in any way. The woman's college graduate in me cringes, but I do lack a certain stick-to-it-ness, especially in the puzzle/assembling stuff realm. Oh, well. Laura will hopefully benefit from me reading this little gem, as I'm going to try really hard to praise her efforts instead of her compliance. Just typing that makes me a little bit disgusted with myself, especially since I've always tried to praise students for specific areas of their work and/or efforts in the classroom.

Moving on. I didn't set out to write an essay on how to instill persistence and confidence in female learners.

Will has two more days of zoo camp and then we have a whole week of uninterrupted staying at home, which is my most favorite thing about summer. I hope to write a little more around here soon, so stay tuned!