I don't know exactly what a prayer is.
I do know how to pay attention, how to fall down
into the grass, how to kneel down in the grass,
how to be idle and blessed, how to stroll through the fields,
which is what I have been doing all day.
Tell me, what else should I have done?
Doesn't everything die at last, and too soon?
Tell me, what is it you plan to do
with your one wild and precious life?

from Mary Oliver's "The Summer Day"

Saturday, September 15, 2012

This one

I know I've mentioned a time or thousand that Will has a more difficult (to put it mildly) temperament. And he does. There's just no getting around it. He's so intense and feels every emotion so deeply that it's hard for him to deal with all those feelings. Sometimes it gets to be too much for his little body and mind and bad things happen. He yells, he gives the dirtiest of looks you'll ever get from a five-year-old. He stomps around and growls and groans and generally acts like the world is the most unjust of all realities.

But the flip side of this is that his excitement and happiness are almost real presences when he feels them. I watch him skipping down the sidewalk on our way to school, waving to neighbors and calling out "Hi!" without a moment's hesitation, and I'm kind of envious that he can feel one emotion so purely and in-the-moment-ly. 

I don't know if it's my imagination at work or what, but he's suddenly so into how everything is spelled, what letter everything begins with, finding "solutions" to problems both large and small, and "talking things over" that it's like he left for kindergarten last Thursday morning the preschooler I'd grown used to and came home that evening a bona fide elementary school-er. And while I still worry about his behavior and most especially his tendency toward being a little impulsive, I know that intellectually, for his little spongy brain, sending him to kindergarten was the right decision. Being around older students (as opposed to another year of preschool or Pre-K) seems to be benefiting him already. I know it's only been a week, and things could really go awry in the next few months and weeks in various ways, but for now, I feel good about kindergarten.

And while I don't think sending kids on to school (as opposed to keeping them out a yea)r is always the right decision for every child or every family (obviously not, as it's such a personal, almost agonizing one to make), I have a feeling that Will is going to flourish this year. It's almost as though he senses this greater responsibility  we're giving him as a sign of our confidence in him. And he'd be right.

I've said it before and I'll say it again:  I don't know what this kid's going to do with himself, but whatever it is, I'm glad to be along for the ride. Loud, bumpy and (sometimes) scary though it may be. 

Happy weekend!

1 comment:

  1. Yay!!! I'm so glad he's doing well in Kindergarten. You could have been describing Frances in your sentences about living up to expectations (and spelling ... those K teachers must hit early on that ... she's obsessed at this point). I think she likes being a bit younger; working a little extra hard at things; stretching herself. I agree COMPLETELY that every child is different. But for us, it sounds like, our kiddos are where they should be. Shoot, did I just jinx both of us now??

    Talk to you later, gater : )